Sobriety is often thought of as abstinence from alcohol where the brain is not affected by the physical impairment caused by alcohol’s detrimental effects on our judgment and reason. It’s used is almost always connected with drugs or alcohol, which is, in itself, a drug.
To be sober usually means not having consumed any alcohol, or at least having consumed alcohol in moderation.
For people in a 12-step program, such as Alcoholic’s Anonymous, sobriety means abstaining from the detrimental effects of any activity that is compulsive. An alcoholic may seem to have complete control of his or her life in every area except when it pertains to drinking. In this area, they seem to have absolutely no control and their drinking becomes a compulsive act, as if their will has been taken away from them by an unknown power. It does not matter that their own hand forged the chains that bind them by actions they previously committed before, maybe even years earlier. The fact is that now, even when they desire to stay away from such activity, they feel powerless over their compulsive actions.
For the alcoholic, the drug is alcohol. For the drug addict, it is whatever drug of choice they chose in the past. For the gambling addict, it is the slots or bingo, or off track betting. Whatever the addiction, the activity or substance is the drug. Whether it is overeating or sex, the addict seems to have no control over his or her actions.
Promising to do better next time, even pledging to God and all His Holy angels in Heaven doesn’t work.
The addict has broken more promises than you could imagine. “Lock them all up in prison before they actually hurt someone.” They are actually already locked up in a prison in their own minds with bars that cannot be broken and there is no chance of parole. Ever.
So when people in the various 12-step to state how they are doing in “the program”, they use the term sobriety. One statement in such programs is, “I act out. We recover.” To the uninitiated, term “act out” means to engage in whatever activity caused the problems in the first place. If it’s an alcoholic, acting out is taking a drink. If it’s a drug addict, it’s using whatever drug they have a problem. Addicts flounder in their addiction by themselves, but they recover with the help of others in the program.
The First Step states, “We admitted we were powerless over our compulsive (name the addiction of your choice) activity – that our lives had become unmanageable.” If we had the power, there would be no AA or GA or OA or SA. It is the powerlessness that absolutely kills us. We like to believe if we try this or that then everything will be all right.
The Second Step follows that as such: “Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” Do you see that? An addiction, any addiction, causes a sort of insanity. Addicts are crazy like that. Trying the same thing over and over hoping for different results is the textbook definition of insanity.
The key is that sobriety is a gift God,
who most addicts believe is the “power greater than ourselves” addressed in the Second Step. Working the steps require to maintain that sobriety is a gift we give ourselves. People, by their very nature, have addictive personalities. Or at least we have personalities that lend themselves to becoming addicts.
Probably one of the stupidest things I ever heard come out of the mouth of a supposedly educated man, I have my doubts, (Master’s Degree, senior pastor of a very popular, very large church) was “I didn’t become a sex addict because I chose not to become one.” Like every sex addict told his mother when he was young, “Gee, Mommy, when I grow up I want to be addicted to watching pornography and thinking about that sort of thing all the time.” Yeah, every addict chose to be an addict. I am not saying that an addict is not partly responsible for his condition. Addiction is like going into the Hotel California. You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
Sobriety is a gift. But we have to reach out and take it. There is work to be done to actually reach out and receive this precious gift. Sometimes its changing who we hang out with, or where we spend our time. As one very wise ex-addict (I say ex-addict because he has passed away) once said, “The problem is not the problem.” It’s not the actual alcohol or the actual gaming tables, or the sex. It’s our way of thinking that needs to change. And that change only comes with help from someone greater than you. And counselors who have trod that path before you.
As they say, the first step is admitting you need help. That you are powerless. And that you actually want help. There’s an old movie line, “Help will always come to those who need it.”
To be sober usually means not having consumed any alcohol, or at least having consumed alcohol in moderation.
For people in a 12-step program, such as Alcoholic’s Anonymous, sobriety means abstaining from the detrimental effects of any activity that is compulsive. An alcoholic may seem to have complete control of his or her life in every area except when it pertains to drinking. In this area, they seem to have absolutely no control and their drinking becomes a compulsive act, as if their will has been taken away from them by an unknown power. It does not matter that their own hand forged the chains that bind them by actions they previously committed before, maybe even years earlier. The fact is that now, even when they desire to stay away from such activity, they feel powerless over their compulsive actions.
For the alcoholic, the drug is alcohol. For the drug addict, it is whatever drug of choice they chose in the past. For the gambling addict, it is the slots or bingo, or off track betting. Whatever the addiction, the activity or substance is the drug. Whether it is overeating or sex, the addict seems to have no control over his or her actions.
Promising to do better next time, even pledging to God and all His Holy angels in Heaven doesn’t work.
The addict has broken more promises than you could imagine. “Lock them all up in prison before they actually hurt someone.” They are actually already locked up in a prison in their own minds with bars that cannot be broken and there is no chance of parole. Ever.
So when people in the various 12-step to state how they are doing in “the program”, they use the term sobriety. One statement in such programs is, “I act out. We recover.” To the uninitiated, term “act out” means to engage in whatever activity caused the problems in the first place. If it’s an alcoholic, acting out is taking a drink. If it’s a drug addict, it’s using whatever drug they have a problem. Addicts flounder in their addiction by themselves, but they recover with the help of others in the program.
The First Step states, “We admitted we were powerless over our compulsive (name the addiction of your choice) activity – that our lives had become unmanageable.” If we had the power, there would be no AA or GA or OA or SA. It is the powerlessness that absolutely kills us. We like to believe if we try this or that then everything will be all right.
The Second Step follows that as such: “Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” Do you see that? An addiction, any addiction, causes a sort of insanity. Addicts are crazy like that. Trying the same thing over and over hoping for different results is the textbook definition of insanity.
The key is that sobriety is a gift God,
who most addicts believe is the “power greater than ourselves” addressed in the Second Step. Working the steps require to maintain that sobriety is a gift we give ourselves. People, by their very nature, have addictive personalities. Or at least we have personalities that lend themselves to becoming addicts.
Probably one of the stupidest things I ever heard come out of the mouth of a supposedly educated man, I have my doubts, (Master’s Degree, senior pastor of a very popular, very large church) was “I didn’t become a sex addict because I chose not to become one.” Like every sex addict told his mother when he was young, “Gee, Mommy, when I grow up I want to be addicted to watching pornography and thinking about that sort of thing all the time.” Yeah, every addict chose to be an addict. I am not saying that an addict is not partly responsible for his condition. Addiction is like going into the Hotel California. You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
Sobriety is a gift. But we have to reach out and take it. There is work to be done to actually reach out and receive this precious gift. Sometimes its changing who we hang out with, or where we spend our time. As one very wise ex-addict (I say ex-addict because he has passed away) once said, “The problem is not the problem.” It’s not the actual alcohol or the actual gaming tables, or the sex. It’s our way of thinking that needs to change. And that change only comes with help from someone greater than you. And counselors who have trod that path before you.
As they say, the first step is admitting you need help. That you are powerless. And that you actually want help. There’s an old movie line, “Help will always come to those who need it.”
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