‘Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy.

I was driving home from Wal-Mart a few minutes ago and had a local radio station playing on a classic rock station (yes, I do like this type of music) and Elton John’s “Benny and the Jets” came on. Now if there is a song with more unintelligibly sung lyrics, I do not know what it could be. I am personally thinking this MUST have been during Elton John’s relatively little known Quaalude period of the mid seventies. I went on the computer and looked up the actual lyrics and still could barely make heads or tails out of the song as it is sung.

Here’s a challenge for you. I’m printing the lyrics out and you go to this link http://www.goear.com/listen.php?v=cc36632, type in “Benny and the Jets” and decide for yourselves.

Benny and The Jets by Elton John

Hey kids, shake it loose together/The spotlight's hitting something/That's been known to change the weather/We'll kill the fatted calf tonight/So stick around/You're gonna hear electric music/Solid walls of sound

Chorus:
Say, Candy and Ronnie, have you seen them yet/But they're so spaced out,
BuhBuhBuhBuh Bennie and the Jets/Oh but they're weird and they're wonderful/Oh Bennie she's really keen/She's got electric boots a mohair suit/You know I read it in a magazine/Aaah, BuhBuh Bennie and the Jets

Hey kids, plug into the faithless/Maybe they're blinded/But Bennie makes them ageless/We shall survive, let us take ourselves along/Where we fight our parents out in the streets To find who's right and who's wrong

Chorus:
Say, Candy and Ronnie, have you seen them yet/But they're so spaced out,
BuhBuhBuhBuh Bennie and the Jets/Oh but they're weird and they're wonderful/Oh Bennie she's really keenShe's got electric boots a mohair suit/You know I read it in a magazine/Aaah, BuhBuh Bennie and the Jets

Chorus:
Say, Candy and Ronnie, have you seen them yet/But they're so spaced out,
BuhBuhBuhBuh Bennie and the Jets/Oh but they're weird and they're wonderful/Oh Bennie she's really keen
She's got electric boots a mohair suit/You know I read it in a magazine
Ah ha, BuhBuh Bennie and the Jets/Bennie, Bennie and the Jets
Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie and the Jets/Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie and the Jets

This all reminds me of a calendar I got one year that had all these popular songs and the incorrect lyrics people were singing to them. You know, “On a dark desert highway/Cool whip in my hair” from The Eagles’ “Hotel California” instead of “cool wind in my hair”. Admit it. If you’re under the age of 60, you’ve probably sung this song like that. Our minds love to put puzzles together. So when we sing along to Jimi Hendrix’s Purple Haze and sing “’Scuse me while I kiss this guy” (“‘scuse me while I kiss the sky” is the correct line), it’s our brain trying to put the pieces of the puzzle in the right place. And if our brain doesn’t have all the right pieces, it just fills in with what sounds best. Amazing piece of equipment, isn’t it? To set the record straight, Jimi Hendrix was most likely not promoting homosexuality (to my the best of knowledge, which can be somewhat limited).

Legacy

The term “legacy” has been used quite a bit in the past few years. In fact, in terms of Presidential legacies, it’s usage is almost unknown before the Presidency of William Jefferson Clinton. I do not remember anyone speaking of the legacy of Jimmy Carter while he was in office. He left a legacy, but they didn’t speak of it until he was out of office.

The word “legacy”, according to Dictionary.com means several possible things. Here is the list that was given:

1. Law. a gift of property, esp. personal property, as money, by will; a bequest.

2. anything handed down from the past, as from an ancestor or predecessor: the legacy of ancient Rome.

3. an applicant to or student at a school that was attended by his or her parent.

Usually, the second definition is the intended definition when a person speaks of his or her legacy. Normally, a legacy is not an instantaneous thing. Such things do not happen overnight. When the political left stated in the past few years that George W. Bush was “the worst president ever”, I think they spoke a little prematurely. There has not been enough time to look at his presidency in light of history to make such a statement. I just wanted to review the legacies of our recent presidents.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy will be known for several things besides the fact that he was assassinated in Dallas, Texas, in November, 1963. He will be remembered for his facing down Nikita Khrushcev during the Cuban Missile Crisis in October, 1962. He will also be remembered for the Bay of Pigs Invasion, and his willingness to admit to the American Public that it had been a mistake when all the generals wanted to keep it quiet.

Lyndon Baines Johnson will be remembered as the president that escalated the Viet Nam War, created an increased welfare state in his “War on Poverty”, and personally stifled free speech in the church with his legislation to limit the political free speech of churches by challenging their tax-exempt status if they engaged in the political process from the pulpit. His intent was to silence the churches that had supported his opponent, Dudley Dougherty, during the 1954 primary elections to the United States Senate. Before 1954, churches did not have to file with the IRS as they are exempt from taxation by the U.S. Constitution. His “Great Society" agenda increased the amount of people on welfare and caused incalculable damage to the black family as many black men abdicated their role as father and dominant male figure because they saw the government providing that role to black women and children.

Richard Milhouse Nixon will probably be best known as the only president to resign from office after the Watergate Scandal. Interestingly enough, Nixon had nothing to do with the actual break in at the Democratic National Committee at the Watergate Hotel on June 17, 1972. However, Nixon and his staff orchestrated a cover-up that brought about his downfall. It also led to the arrest of numerous key staffers, such as E. Howard Hunt and J. Gordon Liddy. If this scandal had not happened, Nixon would probably have been remembered as the president that opened negotiations with China, negotiated détente with the USSR and got us out of the quagmire that was the Viet Nam War. Although he is the face of the Viet Nam War, that legacy should probably be laid on Johnson’s shoulders, as he escalated the fight.

James Earl Carter is probably best known for being president during the Iranian Hostage Crisis between November 1979 and January 1981. This is probably because he failed to support the Shah of Iran, who was an ally to the United States and a stabilizing influence in the Middle East during that time. He was responsible for the failed rescue attempt. He was president during the Invasion of Afghanistan by the Soviet Union and the subsequent American absence in the 1980 Olympic Games He also negotiated the Camp David Peace Accord between Israel and Egypt, and returned the Panama Canal to Panama.

Ronald Wilson Reagan, although already known as an actor, became better known in his later years as the Governor of California that became President during the end of the Iranian Hostage Crisis which brought the American hostages home. He also presided over the beginning of America’s economic boom in the 1980’s, his economic policies known as “supply side economics”, or “Reaganomincs”. He will also be known as the president that once again stared down the Soviet Union and helped to end that empire. He presided during the Grenada Invasion and the bombing of Libya after the bombing over Lockerbie, Scotland, of Pan Am Flight 103, and the Iran-Contra Scandal.

George Herbert Walker Bush, vice-president to Ronald Reagan, will probably be best known as President during the invasion of Kuwait by Saddam Hussein in August, 1990, which led to Operation Desert Shield/Storm. He saw the Fall of the Berlin Wall in November, 1989. He is famous for his “read my lips, No new taxes” campaign slogan, which he reneged on and it cost him the election in 1992.

William Jefferson Clinton will probably always be associated with intern Monica Lewinsky and Paula Jones. Travelgate, the Whitewater Investigation and the White House FBI files are just a few of the scandals that surround this president. A very popular two-term president, he is also only the second president to be impeached, other than Andrew Johnson, although he was acquitted by the U.S. Senate. He is also married to the current Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton.

George W. Bush is only second president who is the son of a former president. He will be known for his part in protecting the United States after September 11, 2001. He presided over the hunt for Al Queda and Osama bin Laden in Afghanistan and the War in Iraq. He also saw the capture and removal of Saddam Hussein from power and the devastating effects of Hurricane Katrina on the Gulf Coast states.

Barak Hussein Obama is the first African American to serve as president of the United States. He has only been in office for a little over 7 months, so his legacy has yet to even begun to formulate.

All this talk of legacies brings me to another well known politician who recently died. I am speaking about Senator Edward Moore Kennedy, brother of John and Robert. He has been called the “Lion of the Senate”. People have said that his legacy will be healthcare reform. I think his legacy was written 40 years ago on a bridge from Chappaquiddick to Edgartown, Massachusetts, in the name of a young secretary named Mary Jo Kopechne.

It’s kind of like the old joke about the guy complaining at the bar and the bartender comes over and asks, “What’s wrong?” The guy goes on with all of his accomplishments, “I’ve built at least twenty houses, but do they call me ‘Bob, the house builder’. Noooo. I’ve run in a dozen marathons, but do they call me ‘Bob, the marathoner’? Noooo. I’ve sold at least 40 cars, buy do they call me ‘Bob, the car salesman’? Noooo. I’ve given thousands of dollars to hospital charities. But do they call me ‘Bob, the philanthropist’? Noooo. But you get caught screwing ONE goat…”

Unfortunately for Senator Kennedy, all his good deeds on this side of Chappaquiddick probably will not erase THAT legacy. He’s just not that wealthy.

To read more by Thomas A. McLoughlin, go to http://insearchofintelligentlife.com or http://docsboyblog.blogspot.com/

The Magic of Hollywood

I love movies. I enjoy sitting in a dark theater and letting my imagination go as the film before me spins it tales of adventure, mystery, romance (yes, I do like some “chick flicks”), and intrigue. There’s something about imagining an impossible scenario and then watching as someone else brings your story to life.

I watched a movie the other night that I hadn’t seen in quite a while. It was Capricorn One, with a young James Brolin, Sam Waterston, and a pre-felony O.J. Simpson. The story line follows a projected visit to the planet Mars that is faked due to a flaw in the safety equipment that would have killed all the astronauts onboard. They are coerced into going along in order to keep the space program alive by threatening their wives and families. The entire surface walk is done on a sound stage at an abandoned Air Force Base in the middle of the Texas desert 300 miles west of Houston. The problem comes when the sensors at space control show that the heat shields fail upon reentry and all the astronauts supposedly die, when in fact they are very much alive. If they actually show up in public, the entire scam is blown and the powers that be determine that they have outlived their usefulness.

The remaining movie tells how the three astronauts escape from their captors and how one reporter figures out the truth and is determined to bring this to light. Although predictable from this point on, it still makes for an exciting movie with the hero (Brolin) finally showing up at his own funeral and memorial service.

The movie is based on the conspiracy theory that the Apollo 11 moon landing and subsequent moonwalk were fakes and actually performed on a sound stage in some remote location. I saw a documentary several years detailing all the evidence to support such a theory and it was quite compelling. The movie was made in 1978, only 9 years after that famed Apollo 11 moonwalk of Neil Armstrong and Edward “Buzz” Aldrin, Jr.

The interesting thing is how you root for the good guys in the movie taking a stand against the evil bureaucrats of an evil government. And I remember coming out of the movie theater thinking how evil the United States government was. It wasn’t the first time this had happened. I think this would be actually called propaganda.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a pastor in Nazi Germany, who died in a concentration camp because of his outspoken criticism of Hitler’s policies, once told a story of how his entire village was awoken early one morning and everybody was forced to come into the village square. They were kept there for hours with nothing to do, waiting for a speech from some Nazi spokesman. Without food or water or the opportunity to rest, the people were continually told that the speaker would be there soon and how great an opportunity it was that they would be enjoying.

By the time the speaker had finally arrived, a mob mentality took over and the crowd was quite receptive to the message being spoken. Even Pastor Bonhoeffer felt more inclined to accept the premise of the speech, even though he knew deep down that it went against his core beliefs. He said that once they were released to go back to their homes, he had to reflect on how deeply he had become involved in what he knew was inherently wrong.

I think the same thing happens in a movie theater. We all cheer for the good guy and want justice to come to the bad guys. The more wicked the bad guy is portrayed, the more we want him to come to a bad, if not really painful, end.

I was in a hotel once and saw “Private Parts”, the story of Howard Stern. Now in my mind, Howard Stern is part of the problem with this country. He has made his millions from being a crude, vulgar, sensationalist. And even though a lot of his radio bits are funny, most of his radio show is a benchmark for offense and mocks the First Amendment free speech rights. However, that being said, I found myself rooting for the Howard Stern character as he continually fought with his boss, played by a weasel-like Paul Giamatti and even cheered when he eventually won the battle and earned creative control of his radio show.

Just about every Hollywood film made has is an agenda that comes along with it. Some movies, like “Milk”, about the openly gay city council member Harvey Milk in San Francisco, display their agenda openly. Others are not so obvious. The Disney movie “Pocahontas” was a not-so subtle attempt at trying to shape our children’s thinking about environmental issues, suggesting that western settlers were all evil exploiters while the North American Indians were all innocent and honorable and good for the environment. After all, they cherished Mother Earth and saw the bear as their brother.

This is not to say that movies should not have a message. Most literature has a bias in one shape or another. “David Copperfield” was written to bring to light the child labor exploitation in England in that day. I just need to remember that when Hollywood gets to sell its agenda, it is usually a counter cultural message that goes contrary to most traditional family values. That being said, enjoy the film like you would a chicken dinner. Eat the meat and throw out the bones. Just remember, with Hollywood, you get an awful lot of bones.

To read more by Thomas A. McLoughlin, go to http://insearchofintelligentlife.com or http:docsboyblog.blogspot.com

Lady

From all outside appearances, Lady was just an ordinary family pet. She was part Chow and part Cocker Spaniel. If you wanted a duo of two personalities that would combine to make a really overbearing, obnoxious combination, you probably could not pick a better mix.


However, Lady was really sweet. She had hr quirks, one of which was an obsessive compulsion for tennis balls. Especially the fuzzy ones. It did not matter if they were rain soaked or covered in mud, she would spend hours just licking her particular tennis ball. And with her mottled colored tongue (the gift from the Chow part of her), the grass, mud and all other assortment of junk on that particular ball would almost make you gag looking at it.


She was so obsessive about her ball that “it” had to be put away when it was time to go to bed. Otherwise, she would spend all night pushing it away only to chase it down and reclaim it. Or, if it got stuck under a piece of furniture, she would go to any means to get it back, including ripping the cover on a sofa, tearing a piece of lattice away from the deck, or scratching on a door which the guilty ball had been pushed under. There was even one morning when Dawn, Lady’s owner, woke up to see her staring at a cabinet, just shaking. Dawn originally thought that Lady was having a stroke or a seizure and called her name. She slowly looked away from the spot to acknowledge her name being called and then returned her gaze on that particular spot. When Dawn investigated, she found a ball hidden under the cabinet. Once the ball was put away, Lady returned to her normal self.

Lady had been bounced around from one home to another a couple of times and this was probably her last home. The last home she had been in would not let her have a ball because of her compulsion towards them. If there was a 12-step program for balls, she would’ve been standing up at the front of the room saying, “Hi, my name is Lady and I am addicted to tennis balls.” The rest of the room would reply, “Hi, Lady.”


She was the darling of the dog park here in Sioux Falls, though. All the little kids would want to pet her and all the ladies thought she was so cute. And she didn’t take a lot of junk from the other dogs where her ball was concerned. I don’t know if it was the Chow or the Cocker Spaniel which responsible for that. Cockers can be sort of fierce about what they want as well as the Chows. If another dog messed with her ball, they could expect a fight. Homey just didn’t play that.


Usually, when we would go to the Dog Park, Doc and Dooly would tear off into the center of the park, Doc looking for a ball to bring back and Dooly making sure that Doc didn’t have too much fun. But Lady, when she found a ball, would just carry it around waiting for me to take it and throw it so she could chase it down. When she got a little tired, she would lay down with the ball between her stretched out legs, licking it. If someone else came along to throw her ball, that was okay. She would let you have it as long as you threw it for her.

Lady was 14 ½ years old and her eyesight was starting to fade where you needed to throw the ball in front of her so that she could see the movement and then chase it. She was starting to develop those bumps on her body that an older dog will get. There wasn’t much you could do about them, just keep her clean and brushed out and know that was part of her getting older. She was groomed every couple of months and was for the most part an indoor dog. She didn’t make too much of a mess except if there was a ball that you didn’t know about laying around somewhere. She didn’t eat too much and when she was exercised, her weight was pretty normal. Even her joints, which had bothered her when she first came to my house, eventually gave her little problem as she was exercised by chasing her ball repeatedly.

Lady’s kidneys failed last week and she went downhill very quickly. She no longer ate her food, she threw up in Dawn’s house twice, and she was having a difficult time getting up the stairs Saturday morning. Dawn took her into the vet clinic where she grooms dogs and the vet confirmed that Lady’s kidneys had failed. Dawn made a very difficult decision to put her to sleep rather than let her suffer even for one more day.


Dawn called me about 9:00 Saturday morning and I drove over to be with Dawn and Lady on Lady’s last day. I brought Doc and he got the chance to say goodbye as well. After Dawn had finished all her dogs, the vet came in, administered the proper drugs, and we sat in a quiet room with Lady and stayed with her until she was gone. We both cried and felt a terrible loss.


Some people might say (as I’ve heard people say before), “It was only a dog.” But they do not understand how much a part of the family that “only a dog” becomes. I will miss Lady. I got the privilege of being one of the humans that got to care for her in her life. Her photos are my screensaver for now. And her impact will be felt in my heart for a long time.


If there’s a doggy Heaven, all the balls are fuzzy and they never get stuck or taken away. And Lady is having the time of her life.

The Risk Associated With On-Line Business Opportunities

Part of the problem with trying to make money on-line is there are so many business opportunities that sound too good to be true and the only way to see if they actually work is to break open your wallet and pull out the credit card and take a chance.

By the time you’ve figured out that this is not the optimum opportunity, or that the company you have connected with is les than honorable, someone has already billed your credit card (sometimes twice) and they are nowhere to be found. It’s enough to make even a priest swear for the frustration you’ve endured.

After awhile, you sit back and learn from these lessons. One thing I’ve learned is that life is short. It’s too short to spend crabbing about the money you let slip away. One guy I knew once said, “I can always make more money. But I can’t make more time.” The best you can do is let it go and move on. As they say, sometimes you’re the windshield; sometimes you’re the bug.

Another thing I learned from a good friend was how to make decisions that involved a little risk. Risk is okay if everything goes just like you planned it, but that doesn’t always happen. Think about the last time you took a financial risk. If the risk had paid off, you’d be congratulating yourself on how wise you were and how your business savvy is the thing books are written about. And you’d have the car, the house, the vacations and experience to prove it. All your friends would be asking you for advice (as well as a loan for this, that, or the other) and you’d be feeling pretty good.

What happened? You took a risk, made a decision and you lost a little bit of money. Okay. Go back to paragraph three and as they say, “Cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it.” Move onward rather than staying in the same place beating yourself up over a small financial misstep. If the worst thing that happened is you lost a little bit of money (or a lot of money), but you’re still above the grass and you didn’t lose any limbs in the process, you’re doing pretty good. One of my mentors essentially told me, “When you’re making a decision one way or another (say, whether to invest or not to invest), figure out the worst possible thing that can happen if you do the one thing. If you can live with that, then the decision to do that one thing is not all that bad a decision.”

Now this may sound easy, and sometimes it is easier to say it than to live it out. I have made major decisions about buying or selling a house, moving from one city to another, whether to take one job or another, and although it seemed like I was clueless at the time, I was able to rest in the knowledge that I could live with the worst possible scenario in the last twelve years.

There is one last thing about risk. Think about sitting on your porch as an old man or old woman thinking, “I could’ve done ___, but I was afraid to take a risk.” This is the final principle I use when I make a decision that has inherent risk. I knew a friend in the Royal Air Force that tried out for the SAS, the Special Air Service. This is the equivalent to our Navy Seals. The training is intense both physically as well as emotionally. He was already established in his career field and I, as a young US Airman in the US Air Force, asked him why he would go through the entire struggle to attain something like that. His response was that he didn’t want to end up on his front porch thinking, “I could have done this, but there was too much risk and I was afraid to try.”

Whenever I am afraid to make a certain decision because of the risk involved, I think of that guy. And I use the principles I already discussed and move forward.

____________________________________________________________________


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Dreams I

I am big fan of movies. Not Hollywood, but of a lot of the movies that particular industry produces. Some of my ‘life sayings’ come from the films I’ve seen and now own on DVD. In Nicolas Cage’s “Con Air”, the hero is asked at one point, “Don’t you trust me?”. To which he replies, “There’s two people I trust. One is me and the other’s not you.” When I think about this fandom of Hollywood, two films in particular, “Tap”, with Gregory Hines, and “Finding Forrester”, with Sean Connery, come to mind.

These two films have several things in common. Firstly, they were not big commercial successes and neither was nominated for any academy awards that I know of. I could be mistaken about that. Secondly, both films have a common thread, that of an under dog with an amazing gift and how difficult it is to see that gift utilized. And thirdly, through as series of events, the hero finds a way to fulfill his dream.

I started thinking about dreams and how each of us, all six billion (I think that’s the population of the world about now), have a God-given ability that if utilized can bring about significance and fulfillment in our lives.

Someone said that everyone has a particular ability that they can do better that 25,000 people. And if they can find out what that ability is and can figure out how to make money doing it, they will be neither unemployed nor unsatisfied in their daily lives. The big question on my mind is what is that gifting? I can see clearly what some people’s gifting is. My mother and father, for example, are marvelous at parenting. They just really seemed to enjoy being the parents of eight children.

My father is a hero in his own right. Although he had the state of the art job in the late 60’s, that of an engineer on the Space Program with NASA, he never defined himself by his job. Most of the technology that we enjoy today is a byproduct of the research and development that went into putting a man on the moon in June of 1969.

I would say that 85% of the things he did, he did for someone else. He was on the City Council in Shore Acres, a small town outside a small town outside Houston, Texas. He served on the Knights of Columbus for St. Mary’s Catholic Church there. He also volunteered with the Boy Scouts and eventually became the Scout Master, taking us boys on scouting trips even in the cold and rain when it him as the only adult with ten or twelve teen-age boys for the entire weekend. He enjoyed camping and found it was something our large family could enjoy with a modest monetary investment. He also got the older kids interested in sailing, and when the time was right, purchased a small sailboat and helped us all to learn the intricacies of sailing.
My older siblings and I were all practiced sailors by the time it was all said and done, taking the boat out by ourselves and feeling confident that we could go out and come back without problems. I even remember sailing at night on an unfamiliar lake when he got the wonderful idea of combining our love of camping with our love of sailing. I sailed that dark lake for almost a half hour by myself and found my way back because he gave me the confidence that I could do it.

My mother is another hero. She loved sailing, but she hated camping. She said that she had to do everything she did at home without all the conveniences. I can imagine taking eight kids, a dog, a sailboat and all the gear required to go on a two week trip from Houston to Colorado and back, and it is enough to make me want to buy a small caliber pistol and put myself out of my misery. She never mentioned it at the time and she never complained. My younger sister helped me understand this when she told me, “If my kids are having fun, then it’s a good vacation.” My mom also has been an inspiration to her friends and her church. One aunt calls her “Saint Joan”. Having survived Breast Cancer with all that goes with it (Chemo and radiation treatment, losing all her hair), and now facing still another trial, she will not give up without a fight. She is ready to meet God, but wants to do everything she can to make sure that this is His time.

I don’t know if my parents had some gifting other than being parents, and they will tell you they might doubt how good of a job they did, but I can think of no better parents than the two people who had the fortune (or misfortune, depending on what kind of day I’m having) of having me as their son. I do not know how blessed they are or were, I only know how blessed I am to have two parents that loved each other and my brothers and sisters through thick and thin.

If my parents had decided to not have kids, they could have lived in a much nicer neighborhood in a much nicer home (which would have been a lot cleaner), gone to nice parties and eaten out at fine restaurants all the time. They could have gone on more elaborate vacations and even traveled all over the world. But they chose to give life to eight children and they never looked back.

Now, they have traveled the world (Rome, Ireland, South Korea, England, Scotland) and they have great parties with eight kids and sixteen grandkids. All the things they might have wanted, they got anyways. Oh, and by the way, I am sure that Gerri and I have forgiven you for camping on Thanksgiving and raking leaves on Christmas Eve. And my Dad and my Mom still spends a lot of time doing for others.

Sobriety Is A Funny Thing

Sobriety is often thought of as abstinence from alcohol where the brain is not affected by the physical impairment caused by alcohol’s detrimental effects on our judgment and reason. It’s used is almost always connected with drugs or alcohol, which is, in itself, a drug.

To be sober usually means not having consumed any alcohol, or at least having consumed alcohol in moderation.

For people in a 12-step program, such as Alcoholic’s Anonymous, sobriety means abstaining from the detrimental effects of any activity that is compulsive. An alcoholic may seem to have complete control of his or her life in every area except when it pertains to drinking. In this area, they seem to have absolutely no control and their drinking becomes a compulsive act, as if their will has been taken away from them by an unknown power. It does not matter that their own hand forged the chains that bind them by actions they previously committed before, maybe even years earlier. The fact is that now, even when they desire to stay away from such activity, they feel powerless over their compulsive actions.

For the alcoholic, the drug is alcohol. For the drug addict, it is whatever drug of choice they chose in the past. For the gambling addict, it is the slots or bingo, or off track betting. Whatever the addiction, the activity or substance is the drug. Whether it is overeating or sex, the addict seems to have no control over his or her actions.

Promising to do better next time, even pledging to God and all His Holy angels in Heaven doesn’t work.

The addict has broken more promises than you could imagine. “Lock them all up in prison before they actually hurt someone.” They are actually already locked up in a prison in their own minds with bars that cannot be broken and there is no chance of parole. Ever.

So when people in the various 12-step to state how they are doing in “the program”, they use the term sobriety. One statement in such programs is, “I act out. We recover.” To the uninitiated, term “act out” means to engage in whatever activity caused the problems in the first place. If it’s an alcoholic, acting out is taking a drink. If it’s a drug addict, it’s using whatever drug they have a problem. Addicts flounder in their addiction by themselves, but they recover with the help of others in the program.

The First Step states, “We admitted we were powerless over our compulsive (name the addiction of your choice) activity – that our lives had become unmanageable.” If we had the power, there would be no AA or GA or OA or SA. It is the powerlessness that absolutely kills us. We like to believe if we try this or that then everything will be all right.

The Second Step follows that as such: “Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” Do you see that? An addiction, any addiction, causes a sort of insanity. Addicts are crazy like that. Trying the same thing over and over hoping for different results is the textbook definition of insanity.

The key is that sobriety is a gift God,

who most addicts believe is the “power greater than ourselves” addressed in the Second Step. Working the steps require to maintain that sobriety is a gift we give ourselves. People, by their very nature, have addictive personalities. Or at least we have personalities that lend themselves to becoming addicts.

Probably one of the stupidest things I ever heard come out of the mouth of a supposedly educated man, I have my doubts, (Master’s Degree, senior pastor of a very popular, very large church) was “I didn’t become a sex addict because I chose not to become one.” Like every sex addict told his mother when he was young, “Gee, Mommy, when I grow up I want to be addicted to watching pornography and thinking about that sort of thing all the time.” Yeah, every addict chose to be an addict. I am not saying that an addict is not partly responsible for his condition. Addiction is like going into the Hotel California. You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

Sobriety is a gift. But we have to reach out and take it. There is work to be done to actually reach out and receive this precious gift. Sometimes its changing who we hang out with, or where we spend our time. As one very wise ex-addict (I say ex-addict because he has passed away) once said, “The problem is not the problem.” It’s not the actual alcohol or the actual gaming tables, or the sex. It’s our way of thinking that needs to change. And that change only comes with help from someone greater than you. And counselors who have trod that path before you.

As they say, the first step is admitting you need help. That you are powerless. And that you actually want help. There’s an old movie line, “Help will always come to those who need it.”

Happy New Year

Well, 2009 came whether we wanted it to or not. I woke up this morning and it was here. Of course, I saw it come in last night and although I really was not looking forward to a New Year, it came anyway.

That’s the funny thing about time. You cannot stop it, control it, back it up or do anything about how fast it goes by. Time will continue whether or not we do or not. If I stop my own life (a futile, but permanent, gesture), time will continue to roll on. And I would be the only one who would miss out on the good stuff.

There is a song by Garth Brooks that he sung several years ago called “The Dance”. The lyrics go as such: “And now I’m glad I didn’t know/ The way it all would end, the way it all would go/Our lives are better left to chance/I could have missed the pain/But I would have had to miss the dance”.

Although there are a lot of things I regret in my life, all my experiences have all come together to bring me to where I am right now, for better or worse. And there have been some great times that I will always cherish. Little things like visiting a Bazaar in Turkey on a sunny, hot July afternoon. Watching the brilliant shooting stars from my vantage point high on a burm surrounding ammunition bunkers in Turkey on a midnight shift with my Air Force patrol dog, Pax .

Walking through the small English villages while stationed in the United Kingdom. Taking that alpine boat tour where I couldn’t understand a word the tour guide was saying outside of Bertchegarden, Germany, when I went to a Christian retreat. Seeing the Northern Lights from 9000 feet as I flew from Omaha to Kansas City with cargo in my airplane. Or seeing the static electricity from the dry snow hitting my propeller as I flew a smaller, single-engine airplane across the state of Missouri with bank checks and other paperwork on a cold January morning. Or the time I was flying out of Nashville in a twin-engine airplane and the cloud deck just covered my wings, but let me see clear skies above them.

I could have missed the pain of burying my wife after only 6 years of marriage, but I would have missed the incredible joy of seeing the sparkle in her eyes when I proposed marriage outside the A&P grocery store. Or hearing her southern twang as I walked through the door as she called out, “Hey!”.

A friend of mine lost his mother about a week ago and he is dealing with that great loss right now. He doesn’t quite know how to get through the pain to the other side. The road is not clear and he is afraid. I just lost my job on Monday, and I am dealing with a little bit of fear and depression about the future and the road is not clear.

All I know to do is keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep walking down this life. My mother once said a truism to me. “This too, shall pass.” It may sound trite and stale, but truisms are called truisms because they are true. I will not always feel down and I will not always feel up. It’s like the weather in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. If you don’t like it, wait awhile; it will change. Life is like that. If you don’t like it, or if you do like it, it will change.

Christmas Thoughts

As I sit here a few days after Christmas, heading into the final stretch of 2008, it’s time to reflect on what this year has meant for our world. Not our planet. Our world. When people speak about our planet, there is usually some emphasis about “saving the planet”, which means less people, less economic growth, people are bad, animals are good, etc. etc.

Ted Turner believes that we need to cut the population to 25% of what it is today. It’s funny how those folks that are so into “culling the herd” never volunteer to cull themselves. They are like politicians that think that “something has to be done” with everybody else’s money. The news came out the VP-elect Joe Biden is worth several million dollars and has been in the senate for some 30 years, but only gave around $2500 to charitable causes last year.

After the members of Congress bailed out Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae with 700 Billion dollars of our tax money, two businesses that should have been allowed to go under due to the poor management of their finances, they gave themselves each a $4700 raise, bringing their annual salary to $174,000 per year. In terms for those who work for an hourly wage can understand, that comes to almost a $2.50 an hour raise. But you know, it must be tough to live on only $169,300 a year. Why, that’s barely enough to afford the payment on that second home in D.C. or that new yacht. And that does not count the salaries of their office staff, which makes their personal salaries look puny in comparison.

It’s funny how Congress demanded that the CEO’s of the Big Three auto makers take pay cut for an annual salary of only $1 a year in order to receive federal bailout money. Even though this would not make that much of a difference in the performance of the companies in question. It was a symbolic gesture, and that is all that it was. And then Congress gives itself a $4700 a year pay raise. But not ha ha funny.

The thing that will eventually cause the Big Three to go under is the union. People don’t want to hear that because they think that the unions are all for the little guy. But with union bosses pulling in 6-figure salaries while the guy working the assembly line makes $28 an hour (that’s around $56,000 a year), and with the retirement benefits draining their coffers, and the union not willing to renegotiate contracts to keep the guys working, it won’t be long until all three of the Big Three are a fading memory. The Japanese automobile industry doesn’t seem to have a problem selling their cars. And many of them are made right here in the United States. It’s funny that Congress is going to demand that workers for the Toyota plant here in the United States, making $18 an hour give money to bail out workers in the Big Three making $28 an hour. But not ha ha funny.

We’ve lost some people in 2008.

Actor Robert Prosky, who was in many films, including the priest who avises the main character in “Rudy”. Beverly Garland, who I remember as Fred MacMurray’s television wife in “My Three Sons”. Paul Benedict, who played George Jefferson’s British neighbor on “The Jeffersons”. Actors Paul Newman and Van Johnson. Comedian Bernie Mac. Actress Estelle Getty of “The Golden Girls”, Bozo the Clown, Larry Harmon, and Comedian George Carlin also passed in 2008. Actors Charlton Heston, David Groh, who portrayed Valerie Harper’s husband in the television series “Rhoda”, “Jaws” actor Roy Scheider, Suzanne Pleshette, and Heath Ledger as well as Allan Melvin, the actor who played Sam the Butcher on “The Brady Bunch”

Singers Odetta, Eartha Kitt, drummer Mitch Mitchell of the Jimi Hendrix Experience, singer/songwriter Jerry Reed, singer/songwriter Isaac Hayes, and Robert Hazard, who wrote “Girls Just Want To Have Fun” and Richard Wright, founding member and keyboardist for Pink Floyd also passed away this year.

Author Michael Crighton, who wrote “Jurassic Park”, Alexander Solzhenitsyn, whose books chronicled Stalin’s slave labor camps, White House Press Secretary Tony Snow, and newsman Tim Russert, Senator Jesse Helms, sportscaster Jim McKay, fashion designer Yves Saint Laurent, conservative author and speaker William F. Buckley, Jr., and the Maharesh Mahesh Yogi, founder of Transcendental Meditation. Georgia Fontaine, owner of the Saint Louis Rams, chess master Bobby Fischer, Sir Edmund Hillary, who conquered Mount Everest, are among those who will not see the new year of 2009.


And I would be remiss if I did not mention the men and women of our military who gave the ultimate sacrifice for their country and our freedom. They will be greatly missed. We say a fond farewell to all those who have passed and hope to enjoy the time we have left with those who are still among us.